TP. 51 OPERATION: LIGHT SWITCH

Theoretically, no matter where you are in the universe, there is an infinite amount of space in any direction. This means that if you’re on Earth or you are on a planet called HoorareA B on the western (?) side of Andromeda, you are always in the middle of the universe. This nonsensical knowledge was put forth by some very smart egg heads who have no idea of what they are talking about. They merely theorize some abstract bullshit and confuse the crap out of the non-scientific bipeds that spend their waking hours assembling plastic trinkets for the pacification of their fellow barbarians. There is not a lot of room for creature advancement here. In reality, the universe does have an end, but because it is naturally dark in this realm, we just can’t see it. With all those stars, it still isn’t enough illumination to see the side walls of our all-encompassing universe. Bummer. The only hope of ever seeing this enclosing barrier is to have a million supernovae go off simultaneously, like a million flash cubes. However, a brilliant astrophysicist has come up with a scheme to do such a feat with an alternative approach. He proposes ramming 2 supermassive black holes into each other, creating a huge release of trapped light all at once to create this giant flash. Some Senators got together and thought this would be a great idea for creating jobs in their home state and proposed a bill to bring this concept to fruition. After 172 years, the bugs were resolved, and Operation Light Switch was ready for engagement. As the 2 supermassive black holes were flung towards each other, everyone waited in unbridled anticipation for the 2 gravity behemoths to accelerate into each other and reveal the universe’s side walls. Faster and faster, they accelerated towards each other until that brief second when all that trapped light was instantaneously released. The final report never came out because all the creatures in the universe are now blind.