Today’s seminar is about the remarkable human cleansing fluid known as ‘mucus’, or more commonly known as ‘snot’. When the pulmonary system gets stressed, the respiratory regime starts ordering the human mucus manufacturers to work around the clock. Mucus is a natural, gelatinous material containing enzymes and antibodies that coat the nose, throat, lungs, urinary expanse, digestive tracts, and the cervix in females. Man Margarine which is a mixture of semen and prostatic fluids that are manufactured by the testes and prostate glands, are a completely different animal. They produce feelings of euphoria when expelled and are responsible for half of the 8 billion greed grazers roaming the planet. They will not be included in today’s lesson. Fresh mucus which contains mostly water, is produced to trap and corral irritants and infectious agents. When this concoction collects the contaminants in the respiratory tract, the viscosity increases, and the emerging product is now called ‘phlegm’ or ‘lung butter’. This unique product has just the right color, texture, and stickiness to induce gag reflexes in the majority of observing humans. Runny noses with stringy streamers hanging off the face is enough to send a human reeling away in complete disgust. The hagfish (see HAGFISH I and II, April 12, 2021) uses this principal as a defense mechanism and is quite effective in sending enemies scurrying off in opposite directions. The Army is now involved in securing a Lung Butter Gun that shoots streamers of sticky, phlegm slime at belligerents in close quarters. Early reports show promising results as the green-tinted slime will raise the white flags of defeat from our enemies without bloodshed. Cigarette smokers are a welcome addition to any military service as their massive quantities of lung butter can be used as weapons of mess destruction.
Torked Truth 