TP. 67 JESUS BEEF

Marketing is a Carnival-style sales pitch to try and get ordinary people to pay much more for an item than they would normally pay. The trick is to sell people on purchasing something that has been entrained with much more importance than it normally possesses. Take beef, for example. Japan has bred 4 types of cows that contain enzymes and proteins that turn the stored fat within the meat from saturated fats into unsaturated fats. The healthy fat imparts a fantastic flavor to the muscle by melting at very low temperatures inside your mouth. Kobe and Wagyu are labels that denote the area it came from and the specifications that are enforced to keep the breeds pure and stress free. The steaks that are sold demand a King’s Randsome. In the US, purchased Japanese bulls can be bred with American Angus and still retain the prestigious labels that’ll fetch $100 for an 8 oz. restaraunt served version. There’s gold in ‘dem dare’ cows. Italy has now jumped on the boisterous beef wagon and has just released into the world market: Jesus Beef. It will cost you your soul just to taste the religiously good flavor. Baptized and blessed by the pope himself, they are only available to the rich and sinless souls who ply the Capitalistic Planet. The flavor is reported to be heavenly, and a select few individuals who have tasted it have been canonized. The finished beef is shipped worldwide with accompanied armed guards and attack helicopters. For a limited time only, a Utah version of Jesus Beef is available to the public at a reduced price. This breed of cattle is only raised in the Great Salt Lake, and the resulting salt seasoning infused in that holy breed imparts a saintly taint that’ll send you to heaven direct. These cattle are forever protected with nerve gas and nuclear weapons and are easily identified by their accompanied halos over their heads, along with their ability to walk on water. AMEN!!