TP. 104 THE CALIFORNIA DECREE

The State of California, with the 7th largest economy in the world, compliments of the entertainment, technology, insurance, and defense (really?…weapons are offensive), businesses have favorably granted to the world, its knowledge on global warming. California has decreed that all farting bovines shall be executed in a vacuum so their methane emissions will not corrupt our atmosphere’s CO2 levels. They also decreed that insects should be our main staple to acquire protein for substance. This should put the planet in equilibrium and reign in global warming. IDIOTS! Digested proteins in any form exiting any mammal’s anus will create methane, a potent greenhouse gas. What is needed is an ingestion of termites. These little ant-like insects populate the tropics of the world and harbor bacteria within their digestive tracts that can break down wood into food; something that mammals can not do. With an influx of this specialized bacteria into the human gut along with some ant-acids (ha ha), it won’t be long before humans are gobbling up forests, shitting sawdust, and farting aromatic cedar scents. The whole purpose of this exercise is to cause nature to re-engineer human beings into fish. With all the trees devoured, atmospheric oxygen will drop to levels that can not support the human lung/life cycle. Therefore, as we eat our way through the boreal forests, global rainfall will increase without those H20 sponges sucking up the water. Soon, it’ll be Noah Time all over, and the entire world will be underwater. As this occurs, humans will grow gills and derive its oxygen from algae supplied waters. With only 29% of the earth being Terrafirma, this will open up opportunities for colonization of vast new Territories. With more room to move, human wars will be a thing of the past as human interaction is the primary cause of murders and mayhem. Without wood to build rafts, all old human toxic traits will drown in a Sea of Tranquility.

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