T.P. 117 O.L.D.

It starts out as a laborious journey out the birthing canal, coated in blood, organic slime, and baptized with a mouthful of anal seepage known as a natural vaginal seeding that gets the digestive tract and immune system up and running. Once outside, the commotion continues as mom or the midwife rolls you around in the grass or fresh towels to get that slick coat of placenta fluids off your hide. Now you take your first breath outside.  You are alive and totally helpless, but hungry as hell as you spent the last nine months growing in a confined liquid sac with a flexible feeding hose known as an umbilical chord. Those tits are a welcome treat as warmth and safety define your life for the first year. The next 2 decades are all about learning your societies’ rules so you can survive and thrive in your environment. Adulthood is all about creating another you or yous with a chosen mate if that is the life path you wander down. Spending the next 3-5 decades accomplishing some type of service for the betterment of society is your prime directive, but a lot of latitude is given in your selection. From an accountant to a zoologist, the options are nearly endless, but then you hit a brick wall. Old age slams into everyone at different speeds and intensities, and your genetic blueprint and lifestyles determine the progression. Good luck. When you reach this transition plateau and begin your descent down the ski hill of zero production, you will be greeted by many curious individuals who will want to know how you feel. Do not lie or go into great detail of your aches and pains, for another dozen maladies are waiting for you in the weeds. Merely smile and say proudly, “I’m OLD.” It is an acronym that stands for: ornery, lazy, and decrepit. You are free to come up with your own acronyms as long as it spells O.L.D. Get creative.