T.P. 120 THE EASTER BUNNY

Folklore has it that the German immigrants brought the fable of the Easter Hare (Bunny) with them when they began settling in Pennsylvania in the 1700’s. With roots in both Christianity and Paganism, the Easter Rabbits were the judges’ of children’s behaviors, and they alone determined if the little kiddies would get some candy. BULLSHIT!! That pedophile based crap is undocumented, and common sense reveals the correct version of how the bunnies really got associated with Easter, which is a celebrated Christian holiday. It all comes down to religions wanting more members because there’s safety in numbers and more loot in the basket. Due to its rapid replication tactics, the rabbit is a symbol of fertility and religions love pregnant women. They are somewhat gullible and can convince their men to go to church and volunteer their skills. Rabbits were used to determine the pregnancy of a human woman from the 1930s to the end of the 60s. Female rabbits were injected with potentionally pregnant, human female urine and given a short incubation time to see if a cellular change occurred in the rabbit’s ovaries. If so… she was pregnant. If not… she wasn’t. All the rabbits were euthanized after the procedure, so rabbit farms dotted the countryside to supply those Petrie dishes. The test was 98% accurate and 100% fatal for the cute bunnies. Today’s technology uses piss sticks to determine pregnancy with less acuracy. Easter eggs were thrown into story to make it appealing to children and profitable for Easter egg dye manufacturers. The egg is a symbol of a fertilized human embryo and was used to promote man’s population growth of soldiers for God and Governments. The rabbit is instinctively prolific, and they symbolize the push to promote fertilization. Spring is the mating season of many species, and Easter just happens to be an early spring celebration. What a coincidence. It looks like Mama got inseminated by Papa in the cabin, right around our floating Easter holiday. Damn chocolates.