Richard Jackbrother, who is Dawn Thompdaughter’s second cousin on transgender Auntie Midred’s side, got a phone call that his nephew, Sam Hilldaddy, had died. Richard was devastated. Although Richard hadn’t seen Sammy in years, they communicated monthly through so-so media. Sam had died unexpectantly during a weed-wacking accident, right in front of his expectant wife, Hilda Hilldaddy. Hilda was demonstrated and then rented out for the weekend as a Merry Made in the USA. Confused? Don’t be. This story has nothing to do with Robert Cokeniece, who lived down the road from Sam Hilldaddy, and was not even home when Sam met his demise during the weed wacker disaster; nor did he own that defective weed wacker that cost Sam Hilldaddy his life and made a widow out of his wife: Hilda Hilldaddy. I just thought it was not worth mentioning, but I did so anyway. Anyway, the wake was scheduled for Wednesday, the 23rd, only because Sam’s sister, Sally Hilldaddy, couldn’t make it on the 22nd due to an ingrown toenail operation that was going to take place in Monroe County by Doc Dillon. Doc Dillon was the best ingrown toenail specialist in Dixon County, but sometimes, he would go over to Monroe County and do substandard operations there. Doc Dillon was a busy man, and if you scheduled a surgery with him, you’d better not cancel come hell or high water, or even your own brother’s death. So, that is why the funeral is on the 23rd and not the 22nd. If you ask why Sam’s sister, Sally, has the same last name of Hilldaddy, it is not because she is unmarried. No! Sally is married to a man named Hank Hilldaddy, Sam’s brother and Sally’s dad. Sally and Hilda are identical twins, just in case you wanted to know.
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