The Western world has mutated into a materialistic free-for-all that requires both parents to continue working full time in order to attain the financial status that billboards their success to others. The only trouble is it requires complete dedication and 2 lifetimes to accomplish. The introduction of children that are the result of rubbing the groin genie lamps together until the sparks of life fly complicates things. With those little tykes holding the relationship together, someone has to entertain the cute imps while mom and pop head off for work. That is daycare. It is a service where some person hires young girls to educate and entertain their little bundles of joy. Now, price becomes a factor here because if daycare costs are less than what mom is making, then cash is going in the kitty; if not, then this plan is shitty. In order to corral costs, a nationwide daycare chain has just opened up. The HUGS AND KISSES Babysitting Service employs baby constrictor snakes such as: boas, pythons, King Snakes, and anacondas. With the snakes well fed, their constricting gene is only slightly engaged, and the serpents administer a light squeezing pressure on the little rugrats to supply the sensation of loving hugs to their active audiences. They also flick their tongues to assess their environments and are perceived by the human babies as affectionate kisses. This surrounding supplies ample love to the young students and ensures a healthy habitat. A side benefit is that ophidiophobia, or a fear of snakes, is suppressed in these children as they spend up to 8 hours with those linear lizards every working day. After first opening HUGS AND KISSES, attendance was light, but as the word got out that this daycare is less than half of a human run facility, the turnout increased dramatically. All human toddlers are equipped with spring-loaded skull caps that expand rapidly to prevent being swallowed by a rambunctious constrictor. That would suck.
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