Those gravity-defying dinosaur descendants, known as the Avian Race, have been buzzing our heads and dropping dodos on our noggins since the daybreak of Man-not-so-kind. The Ornithological Society puts the estimate at 11,000 species with 200-400 billion individuals flying, waddling, or hopping around. The vast majority of those numbers are dinner birds such as chicken, duck, and turkey that are raised to give pigs, sheep, and cattle a short vacation from human consumption. There is a 40-60 birds-per-human ratio on this planet when including all species that we haven’t eaten yet, but it’s just a matter of time before penguins, cockatoos, and eagles show up on the menu. If global warming starts destroying crops, rest assured that we’ll be dining on vulture instead of the other way around. Birds, in general, are but flying farm animals that will be bred and fed worms that are no longer needed to replenish the sterile soils. This will solve the problem of Vermiphobia, or the fear of moving, live spaghetti, minus the marinara sauce. The fantastic, genetically modified fowlers will strictly exist just to feed this overpopulated planet, while bird watchers will be nothing more than poultry procurement specialists sent out in the wild to record production estimates. Avian Slaughterhouses will congregate around wind turbines as the huge generators will supply power for deep fryers and rotating blades to slice up the birds for packaging. Most of the reptilian dinosaurs haven’t been around for 65 million years, but current estimates have been released that predict our feathered, flying fryers can support human protein requirements for a few more centuries before they run out. Broasted Crow with 11 herbs and spices…..YUM! Bye-bye, Birdie.
Torked Truth 