LABRATORY MICE

4/7/2017

A species of mice bred from the common house mouse, scientifically called Mus musculus, is used quite often in pharmaceutical research. It was chosen because of its high homology with humans and its rapid reproduction rate. This cost-effective breed has been used for over a century and has been bred into a select group with over 8,000 strains and counting. The largest breeding facility in the United States is the Jackson Laboratory in Bar Harbor, Maine, supplying nearly 3 million mice a year. In stock and ready for shipment are a vast array of inbred, outbred, and transgenic little sacrificial souls who are forced into a life of fear: being poked, prodded, and injected with infectious agents. When the experiment ends, they are finally euthanized with C02 gas, cervical dislocation, or decapitation when the experiment concludes. Enough is enough; the rodent revolt and retaliation has arrived. The first wave of Mighty Mouses hit the cities aggressively and were known as street piranhas. Crawling up pants legs and down shirts with their jaw muscles ratcheting away flesh, this group propelled the humans into pure panic. The second brigade was agile and full of anxiety, and will swarm the human targets looking for places to hide. Overwhelmed by their numbers, the victims will soon find that a number of these have found refuge in their nostrils, and bred without tails, they will be unable to pull them out, thus closing off the nasal passage. The next breed out on the battlefield will be the Phat Phinishers. These obese and large mice have infused rat genes and are fed a diet consisting of pure lard, thus insuring their gargantuan size. They will make their way into the victim’s open mouth seeking food because of the tailless mice that are already stuck in their nostrils. The Phat Phinishers will soon lodge their carcass in the victim’s throat, causing his demise. There will be no one at the switchboards at the 911 call center. They are all dead. 

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