The most recent holiday in America takes place just after Christmas for 7 days and is celebrated by gun toting, white hunters. Its premise is for the removal of seven animals from the face of the earth to save them from suffering from the upcoming winter. It starts on December 26, when a group of sportsmen meet at their lodges for festivities and emotional bonding around 7 different weapons set upon the table. Included in the arsenal, in ascending order, are a rock, a club, a bow and arrow, a black powder blunderbuss, a revolver, a 12-gauge shotgun, and a .22 rifle. In the middle of the table is a bottle of whiskey that gets passed around by all present until it is exhausted. No cups are permitted as the saliva of all is shared, just like a kiss of love. Each member, from oldest to youngest, selects a weapon of the day and will choose a different one for each day of the celebration. The ideal number of participants are multiples of 7, but each group can make up their own rules as they go. This is America. After the verbal and liquid ritual has been fulfilled, the group is released into a predetermined set of coordinates to begin the hunt. Returning at dusk back at the lodge, the group shows off their prowess by returning with their dead animals and embellished stories of the kill. From earthworms to fellow hunters that have been mistakenly eradicated due to inebriated participants, the list of victims is diverse and growing. When asked by a journalist if this is some sick, racist satire of the Kwanzaa ceremony that was first introduced in 1966, the spokesman replied, “no.” “The guy that invented Kwanzza was in 1970, arrested, tried and found guilty, along with 2 others, of false imprisonment, torture and assault to 2 naked black women.” “They have their hypocritical leaders and we have ours.” “Let us not judge the degree of heinousness between the 2 groups, but rather compare our similarities in exercising our Constitutional rights, right to the brink.

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