EXTRA INCOME

6/15/2019

Stumbling around in his small world of hydraulics and marriage to his second soul mate Debty, Bryce Siouxmee (11E) sought to increase his income to further please his bitter half. He was struck with a vision and saw an opportunity in the transportation of excessively heavy females, who roam this country, in search of ghastly groups of groceries. Mr. Siouxmee used his expertise in the hydraulic trade to fit a 3-cubic yard excavator bucket and arm to the roof of a 2012, 1 1/2-ton Chevy Suburban. An internal trunnion, directly over the rear axle, distributed the load to the frame and allowed the bucket assembly to sit on the roof in transportation mode at under 14 feet (road legal). Bryce became quite the backhoe operator as he could gingerly pick up these one-ton tubbies and place them into the back seat for conveyance to the local malt drive-ins and bakery stores to satisfy their urge to pour 6500 calories down their gullets in about 3 minutes. Business was heavy. He was in high demand as the lard ladies frequented his website and filled his evenings and weekends with picking up and dropping off the gluttony gladiators. One day in summer, Bryce just got done hauling Hippo Hilda to the Blimpo Bakery to satisfy her urge to consume 6 1-pound creme puffs in 5 minutes. They were on their way home when the Suburban’s frame snapped in half. The vehicle’s stressed steel dug into a rural highway and brought the battleship to an abrupt halt. No one was hurt, but the episode upset Hippo Hilda so much that she vomited violently.  Mr. Siouxmee had installed multiple cameras on his vehicle to protect himself from any lawsuits. The cameras caught Hilda upchucking a volcano load of creme that spilled onto her face and breasts of her huge hide. The video went viral as the porno people saw it and flipped out. Within 3 days, Bryce’s footage clocked in 1.5 billion hits, a new world’s record. Needless to say, the windfall profits he received from that video put him on easy street. 

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