GREENLAND IV

12/13/2021   

Returning back to the resort after a 6-hour absence, Mr. Neilson forgot about the steep gradient driveway that was the final obstacle. Steeper than Lombard Street in San Francisco which has switchbacks, this vertical ascent required mountain climbing gear. After a 10-mile hike, Mike barely made the finish line to the hotel and laid down to rest. He set the alarm for 4:30PM so as not to miss that 5-star dinner. Meeting the other Americans at the supper table, the conversation focused on a helicopter rental for an hour the next day. This was not that Rickety Rusky wreck that got these people here, but rather a modern turbine, 5-passenger aircraft with doors. The going price for rental was $2,000/ flying hour. With 3 people who were in and 2 out, they looked at Mike to reduce the per person cost. At $500 per head, Mike thought about it for I second. “I’m in!” was his response. To come all the way to Greenland and NOT go because of the cost was stupid. There is nothing quite like a ride on either a helicopter or hot air balloon. The next day the 4 passengers met the pilot at the heliport. He was an athletic Swede who used to be an extreme skier. After breaking his back twice, his surgeon recommended he seek a new avenue for income, so he became a helicopter pilot in Greenland. Perfect: this man doesn’t know fear. With all aboard and starting at 100′ above sea level, the copter effortlessly lifted off and immediately flew inland towards the ice cap. The pilot knew of a canyon and shoved that high-speed copter right up that crack at only 25′ from the canyon wall. The twin girls in their 40’s were cringing and the old, retired engineer had eyes wide open. Mikey had the biggest grin on his face as that pilot tried to get him to cry. It wasn’t going to happen. Mike figured a good exit strategy would be to crash in a crevice in Greenland and he knew that pilot would not tolerate a 3rd broken back, so together, they messed with the 3 shit-in-their pants passengers. 

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