THE OLD MAN AND THE RIVER

5/27/2022     

When the Toks of life broadcast louder than the Tiks, the creature has peaked, and the toboggan run to the grave picks up speed. This Winter Wonderland tale involves a protagonist named William Turst and takes place on a warm spring day in April, in a year of the 21st century. Accuracy is not mandated, as this individual will soon be paved into the road of history as other lifeforms drive over his meager accomplishments. Bill was in the middle of a construction remodeling job just like he’s been for the past 40-plus years of his life. It’s lunch time and he’s taking his lone worker to lunch with him. Out of the corner of his eye, Bill spots a used ski boat on the side of the road with a FOR SALE sign attached. This location has now been welded into Bill’s gray matter as today’s workload was shifted into the “doesn’t matter” heap. After lunch, the 2 farting grunts stopped to give the boat a once over. It had a red and white paint scheme, a 4-cylinder engine driving an inboard-outboard stern drive, and a trailer underneath it to get the 20′ fish to other spawning grounds (lakes). Thoughts raced through Bill’s brain about how this vehicle could propel him down the Mississippi to New Orleans like a Mardi Gras float. Bill remembered owning 2 boats in his youth, but the bad memories had been erased. All he could think about was how cool it would be to float this boat anchor down that magnificent waterway and its constantly changing scenery. When the boat’s owner stepped out of the house to negotiate the $3,500 price tag, Mr. Turst pulled out a $100 bill and offered 3 grand cash, with a hundred to hold it. The owner was familiar with a motivated buyer and instantly became a motivated seller. Six seconds later, the bill was now in the owner’s mitts. Bill would be back tomorrow evening with the rest and the ritual of passing off the trophy/headache was going to transpire. Pulling that fiberglass hulk back to his house, ignorance was about to breed. 

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