TP. 129 ANTEATERS

As the taxonomy descends, specialization occurs, and problems are solved in having the species thrive; thus creating a new problem: overpopulation. Humans are 1 species that displays this undesirable trait by use of its advanced intelligence. With 8 billion strong and growing, the Humming Stupidians are upsetting nature and may well be on their way to creating a Venus Prime here on Earth. The problem exists due to the hard drive of procreation installed on all its variants. Our own technology of advanced weaponry is called upon during times of war to keep us somewhat in check, but the biped viruses are spilling out of their Petrie dishes. Two options are available: 1. Break out the nukes. A severe response, but it will prove quite effective in sending man back into the Sand Age (1 step before the Stone Age). The other, more humane method, is within man’s technical prowess, and that is to weld desirable traits into the Humming Stupidian’s genome. As a fellow member of the Chordate Phylum, under the Mammalian Class, exists a suborder of Vermilingua, also known as anteaters. This creature has an extended snout that allows it to capture and consume ants and termites for food. The reason that this snout is a desirable attribute to be incorporated into human faces is not for food procurement, we have supermarkets for that, but so that we can have oral sex with ourselves. Humans were given arms and hands for masturbation, but our spines and snub nose faces prevent us from giving ourselves head to increase the procreation tempo without saturating the planet with more horny, morons that gunk up the works. Oral sex soothes the savage beasts, and relying on another emotion-enraged human to do this can be frustrating. So, in order to prevent wars and overpopulation, merely snip in the long snouted gene into humans and let their attentions drift off to unproductive, hassleless sex. Even the suborder of Vermilingua, or worm tongue sounds sexy.