TP. 169 PASSING ZONES

On the highway of life, fate becomes the traffic engineer that determines when it is safe to pass and when it is not. These professionals use the principles of physics and mathematics to calculate where to put that double yellow line on the highways just to keep people from risking their lives by passing at an inopportune moment. That can cause calamity, human suffering, and even death. How many times have you been stuck behind a slow person on a rural highway with a double yellow line down the middle; and when the dividing line turns to a single dotted yellow line, here comes all the oncoming traffic? You wait patiently for it to dissipate and, as soon as it clears, a hill or curve magically comes up and then the solid double yellow line is back on the ground. Damn. Patience soon exits; and then the swearing starts. Three more cycles like this and, suddenly, you become dangerous. Instead of pulling off and calming down, it becomes a full blown competition to get past that clown. With the last oncoming, visible vehicle just going by, you pull out and floor it. Ignoring that double yellow warning, that is now on the right side of all your tires, you got the steed up to 80 and accelerating. It seems that car you been stuck behind for 400 miles has finally got up to 70, and won’t let you in. The oncoming WARTMART Semi has just popped into view from around that wooded corner and his blaring horn forced you into the path of least resistance on the left shoulder, or so you thought. A dozen flips and 9 cartwheels later and you come to a sliding stop in your metallic and glass and plastic pretzel. You have successfully and simultaneously passed that prick just as your essence passed away. Congratulations, Corpse.