PROPITIOUSNESS V

6/20/2016

In the movie, SOYLANT GREEN, humans were converted into green wafers to feed an overpopulated and dying world. That was a cannibalistic approach to recycling human carcasses, an unpleasant proposition for most of today’s world’s cultures. Incineration in the CARCASSES TO KILOWATS PROGRAM, first and foremost, generates electrical power for industry and residential markets whose end result is usable products and creature comfort without polluting the planet. Secondly, we have been shown that the waste associated with this technology is a commodity that can be recycled back into society for its benefit. Calcium, metals and even radioactive elements that have inadvertently found their way into the human skeleton can all be put to use fruitfully. Phosphates, the main constituent of the bottom ash (approximately 40 to 50 per cent of the volume), can be recycled into fertilizers to enhance our food production. Also, a multitude of other artifacts arise from phosphate harvesting, Gramma Gwen’s ashes could be formulated into a leavening agent to ensure our Hostess Twinkies are moist and fluffy. Grampa Glenn’s remains could be developed into a detergent to clean our food stained shirts and soiled underwear. Aunt Audrie could be engineered into a lithium-ion battery to power a phallic shaped item that she enjoyed so much when she was alive. And Uncle Buck, that lazy, unproductive bastard that all families have, could now find usefulness as a polishing agent in toothpaste for removing plaque produced from eating boatloads of Ho Hos, blueberry pie and coffee stains from one’s teeth. Even if you would accidentally swallow Uncle Buck, in his phosphate form, no worries. Phosphates are used by all living cells for energy production, which is way more than we can say for useless Uncle Buck. All in all, it’s a win, win scenario and ostentatious pride should be exhibited for finding a most fitting gift for humanity from the remains of a former slug of society. 

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