PROPITIOUSNESS IV

6/13/2016

Since the 1940’s Strontium 90, a radioactive isotope created only in nuclear fission, first appeared on earth. It showed up in baby teeth, being passed on from mothers who grew up in a world of atmospheric nuclear weapon testing. It then found its way into bones and teeth because of its similarity to calcium. Strontium 90 is also found in any area near nuclear power plants, due to accidental discharges and in extremely dangerous levels near any nuclear disaster such as Chernobol and Fukashsima. Lucky for us, this heat producing isotope has a half-life of 28.8 years and will show up in the bottom ash of the CARCASSES TO KILOWATTS PROGRAM. This magnificent merchandise will fetch a premium price for; HEATCRETE, a topping mix for roadways in northern latitudes. No longer will we need to apply damaging salts to our paved surfaces; this radioactive concoction will keep our roads dry in any weather. Other isotopes, derived from corpses that have succumbed to radiation therapy can also be infused into; CARCASSCRETE to create glowing permanent center lines, crosswalks, and parking stalls. Of course, protective measures must be taken to ensure that our future citizens are safe. No problem. Also found in the bottom ash is small quantities of lead that have accumulated in humans because of leaded gasoline. This recoverable resource will be deposited on the floorboards of our new vehicles to shield us against the invisible radionuclides being given off and to lower the center of gravity, least we rollover and cook on the hot pavement. The lead will also be incorporated into jock straps for male bicyclists so they don’t end up like Lunch Armweak, a one balled cheater. Any unforeseen quandaries in the future, resulting from a nuclear fission accident, will just supply new victims to the HEATCRETE feedstock. This will encourage building ice free highways to the Arctic Ocean and up 3-mile-high mountains for a spectacular and breath-taking scenery to die for. 

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