RETIREMENT IV

4/9/2019

Lacking a place to go and accomplish a specific goal, retirees often become the Captain Kirks of the living room. Sitting in their Commander’s chair and staring at the viewing screen on the wall, they are poised to boldly go where no man has gone before. They’re lives are now immersed in their new purpose; to explore new worlds brought to you by a $200/month entertainment industry and initiated by a million commercial ventures, whose sole purpose is to get you to buy their junk. If you are a sportsman, there are over 100 programs to show you where to hunt and fish AND the best equipment to you need to buy. Is science your interest? Hundreds of programs here with the most current theories about why things are the way they are. Obviously, it’s those damn ALIENS!  Cooking? Tons of programs to clog your arteries with. Only controlled starvation leads to longevity. What about the celebrities? Yep, plenty of dirt on the most talented artists and actors who live totally dysfunctional lives where marriages last minutes. Religion? Get out the checkbooks and start writing. The accountants know who’s going to heaven. What about cartoons? Hundreds of bizarre characters who carry sexual context and moral issues wherever they appear. It gives the animation writers carte blanche to go into taboo territory because it’s not real. Interested in sports? Thousands of games pitting athletes’ musculoskeletal systems in a contest of inflicting damage on themselves or opponents, all for the approval of the masochistic coach. What about engineering? Like a car race or football, it’s all about failures and people getting hurt. How about the sanctity of marriage? Oh yeah, plenty of murder mysteries and forensic science that solves crimes that centers around the sex organs and the bad behavior influenced by them. The Captain Kirks will sit in their chairs watching until grey matter oozes out their ears. Their concluding command will be: BEAM ME UP GODDY, I’VE HAD ENOUGH!  

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