SALES

6/19/2019

Jey Thrusher was a natural born salesman who came into the world trying to sell the infant next to him in the NEO Ward, his umbilical cord stump. He almost succeeded until the little lad looked down and noticed he had 2 appendages hanging off his midsection. Jey honed his sales skills in life by becoming a lady’s man at an early age. Born with non-descript facial features and a nose big enough to ski down, Jey tried to convince the girls that his penis was there to be used as a vaginal cleansing tool. Most shut the persistent boy down, but the urge for sanitation is strong in females and sometimes hygienic entry was allowed. As Jey transgressed into adulthood, he sold everything to eke out a living in order to support his new wife and 2 children. She finally came to her senses as the noses on their 2 offspring did irreparable damage to her vagina. Jey was tired of sitting in car lots, going door to door and standing at trade shows, handing out his business cards to strangers. They mostly used them to dig the spinach out of their teeth after lunch. Once in Texas at a pillow convention, he drove out to a SAFARI RANCH and motored through the collection of exotic African animals. Jey paid $10 for a small container of cheap food to feed the creatures. This was his EUREKA moment as the smooth texture of his brain churned out its first creative idea ever. He hired a tool maker who took breakfast-sized pork sausages and built a die that embossed the likeness of a human finger into the link. He then drove out to Yellowstone National Park and sold these creations on the side of the road as, OFFICIAL BEAR FOOD. Mr. Thrusher unloaded his entire van in 24 minutes. Seeing opportunity, Jey franchised this business to entrepreneurs who set up roadside vending at the entrances to parks that had bears within. Jey Thrusher became quite rich overnight and just as quickly, he became a defendant in the class action lawsuit filed by the pricey lawyers representing the PALM PEOPLE. 

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