ZIKA VIRUS

9/16/2016

The most contemporaneous fear humans face today, other than global warming, is the possibility of contracting the dreadful Zika virus. Transmission is primarily by numerous species of tropical mosquitoes, those treacherous transporters of malicious maladies. These flying hypodermic needles are also famous for dengue and yellow fever, chikungunya, and good old fashion malaria. They’re operating ranges are from the equator past the tropics in both directions. But with planetary heating, there is justifiable fear that they may interbreed with arctic mosquitoes and carry deadly viruses nearly to the poles. Although rarely fatal, Zika creates valid trepidation because of the perceived link with birth defects, primarily microcephaly, a hideous birth defect that manifests itself as an abnormally small head. If an epidemic were to break out and millions of these children are born, society will adapt, just as it has in the past with other pandemics such as HIV, Influenza, and Poliomyelitis. This shrunken skull generation may be employed in the entertainment industry as comics and mimes, because of their propensity to invoke laughter in others. In the sports industry, they may become professional boxers in 17 different weight classes, because they would require a higher skill set to knock out an opponent with a much smaller target. In the pornography industry, the female’s sporting undersize craniums would be in demand, because it would enhance the illusion of giant male penises during oral sex. And in the antiques industry, when these defective humans have all died, their skulls will fetch a premium price, just like the shrunken heads that were found in the upper Amazon basin occupied by Shuar tribe. They artfully scaled down the decapitated heads of their enemies and sewed their mouths shut, to render them silent in the after world. No matter where one travels in this huge planet, the common denominator amongst us is that everybody likes a little head.  

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