ADORNMENTS

5/14/2016

With the gradual development of six different ‘cradles of civilization,’ humans began to shed their hunter-gatherer existence and slowly converted into an agricultural society. This created worker specialization and by doing so, freed up members of their culture to become experts in various trades, including the art of haberdashery and women’s apparel. In time, this ‘flair for fashion,’ would decorate the individual members with select minerals, metals, and various animal body parts. These adornments would convey to others: status, sexual enhancement, or personae. Because of this vain display, many innocent animals were senselessly slaughtered for a hide, a feather, or tooth. Included in this list of unfortunate fauna are: beavers, eagles, and egrets for hats, Chinchillas, sables, fox and minks for coats and shawls; sharks for their incisors, elephants for ivory jewelry, and snakes, along with alligators for high end shoes. In the future, the rest of the animal kingdom will complete their long-awaited passage into, ‘a civilized society.’  Please do not be alarmed when your dog shows up at your front door with the mail man’s eyes hanging from the canine’s ears by the optic nerve cord. The bitch just wanted to accessorize. A trip to the Serengeti will enlighten you, when you see a tower of giraffes sporting human rib cages on their long necks, like a sexy choker necklace. Pay no attention to that African elephant that decapitated 21 humans. He merely grabbed the annoying creatures by their necks and quickly snapped their bodies free with his powerful trunk. You will have to appreciate his skill of threading a vine through all of the ears and forming an expensive necklace that the pachyderm proudly portrays. If you’re about to do business with a South American Spider Monkey in the near future, compliment him on his fabulous selection of his smart business tie. You have correctly recognized this adornment as a severed penis from a circumcised, human male. 

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