C.E.O.’s

1/7/2017

Nearly all the fortune 500 companies employ an elite class of directors known as the Chief Executive Officer (C.E.O.). These magnificent mucky mucks command a prestigious position in the corporate hierarchy, along with a substantial salary to compensate their expertise in alcohol, cigars, golf, fashion and prostitutes.  The C.E.O. does not need to know too much about the day to day operations of a particular business; that skill is best left to a manager. His mastery lies in the ability to wine and dine potential clients and still maintain some semblance of civility. One step up from an evil, sinister salesman. Their workload is intense, and they may be called upon to fly off in the corporate jet to some exotic location for a round of golf with a customer and cocktails. Back into the Lear and off to see a Senator about tax cuts, and special favors, with a $1600 bottle of Bourbon. They end the day with a limousine ride to a 5-star hotel for a massage and an encounter with the in-house bar maid. She shows up on the corporate invoice as an expensive bottle of wine, while the C.E.O. maintains a mental list of who can be bought and bribed in this game of influence chess. They need just a rudimentary background knowledge of the business they represent because, in 4 years, after they are escorted out the door of their defense contractor employer, they will collect a 7-figure salary, and an 8-figure parachute package. They will then be picked up by a baby food company and start the game all over again. The greed they display is epic, because most of their entertainment costs are put on the company dime.  At the end of the year, a small command of comptrollers and an army of accounts, scramble through the financial structure and rob funds slated for Research & Development, employee benefits, and customer rebates to make sure that their C.E.O. displays an honest and fair compensation in the form of an 8-figure prize, also known as a BONE US. 

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