INACTIVE GENITALIA SYNDROME

1/26/2020

Drum roll, please. After working around the clock for over a decade, a major pharmaceutical company has finally deciphered the instruction manual for a common human ailment that inflicts all human beings right after puberty. It is known as INACTIVE GENITALIA SYNDROME, or IGS for communication brevity. This infliction is responsible for tons of poor human behavior that surfaces worldwide in everyday life. The symptoms include, but are not limited to, dry mouth, loss of patience, loss of concentration and forgetfulness, muscular aches and pains, dizziness, tremors, weakness, fatigue, crankiness, headaches, twitching, lethargy, sudden bouts of stupidity, shallowness, a propensity to lie, loss of a fluent gait, coughing, wheezing, redness or swelling, dry skin, low self-esteem, tooth loss, heart palpitations, pimple outbreaks, hairline fractures, loose stools including anal seepage, constipation, runny nose, bleeding, itching, blinking, shaking, fever, pain, irritability, blurry vision,  hair loss, loss of appetite, treachery, sweaty palms, hammer toes, fungal infections, and/or, excessive salivating. If you experience any of the above symptoms, you need to see your local pharmaceutical dispenser immediately because you may be suffering from IGS. There is relief, folks, because the FDA has just approved (with a 9-figure encouragement) the release of the miracle drug known as YBF2 (YOU’RE BEING FUCKED TOO). This fountain of youth pill will cure all ailments in a few years flat. When using this drug, do not operate a  spacecraft, perform open heart surgery, set iron beams above 850 feet, assemble nuclear weapons, deliver babies with a pitchfork, dance with fire, or propel yourself over a cliff without some sort of decelerating device. Side effects aren’t worth mentioning, but they may cause death. Future sales of YBF2 is expected to generate $100 billion. There will be a $5 billion fund set up for future class action lawsuits. Do the math. 

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