THE BB THEORY

5/16/2017

The essence of human existence relies heavily on memory, and without it, we would be emotionless zombies stumbling around aimlessly like a tumbleweed in Texas. Civil behavior is based on going into the memory banks to retrieve information to give an educated response to another’s inquiry. Modern science has speculated that, within the brain cortex, lies areas that are associated with recollection and are accessed quickly when queried. Further studies show that the hippocampus is instrumental in forming new memories. An obvious assumption is that if an individual brought a hippo onto campus, the other students and faculty would remember this quite vividly. The real mechanism for event storage is the BB THEORY, in which a word, number, face, or a myriad of other stimuli are introduced, and all the information is stored on a small BB-like, organic mineral housed in all the folds of the brain. The exact etching apparatus for encoding these statistics is not well understood, but it is driven by the 5 senses. These little spherical libraries containing all the data, are instantly retrieved, and read by the brain when summoned. At times, especially in older people, the retrieval process is slowed, and it looks like the BB with the name of the actor from GONE WITH THE WIND is lost. An incorrect assessment of permanent memory loss is then derived. In reality, the BB is mired in Twinkie goo and got hung up on a neuron, but 2 days later, the person blurts out Clark Gable! The volume of the brain is finite and can hold only so many BBs, so at times, the brain automatically ejects little used BBs, such as calculus, or your wife’s birthday, to make room for new BBs. This process happens in the morning when leaving the house for new adventures. All you need for proof of this is to go by the door used most often for exiting and vacuum the floor there. You will hear the distinct clanking noise of all those discarded BBs being picked up by the vacuum cleaner.