BATMAN

7/26/2017

Of all the fictional superheroes, Batman stands out as the most mysterious and darkest crime fighter the comics have ever produced. Being a mere mortal with no superpowers and only an accomplished knowledge of the laws of physics and an intense expertise in all forms of hand to hand combat, Batman is unique. In real life (not really), Batman was Bruce Wayne: a rich, philanthropic playboy who could not commit to marriage. This instantly placed him in the homosexual category just like Error Rogers, who by all fairness, paid attention to Panther Woods and his descent to the basement of the sports world with his escapades. This trait was the reason Batman took on the training of his ‘partner’, Robin, a young, eager, and willing to please student who looked at the Caped Crusader as a father figure. Batman, a staunch, career crime solver, elected not to succumb to temptation and had the fortitude to persevere and stay affixed to his goal of ridding the planet of criminals. His wardrobe dictated that Batman wear a black, midsection set of shorts to hide the shadow of his erection when Robin ‘flew’ into the room. Truth be told, his given name was Bruce, a name heavily associated with male homosexuality. Batman movies are numerous and timeless as many actors have portrayed the character in various personalities. The filmmakers have depleted the stock of various ways of depicting the Dark Knight and have now elected to mix the man with toys to keep the saga fresh. We’re talking Lego Batman here and coming down the pike is the Jigsaw Puzzle Joker, Lincoln Log Larry, a malefactor who hits the hero over the head with machined logs, Tinker Toy Roy, an evil villain who constructs wooden Ferris wheels and sends them rolling towards him to upset his day, and Erector Set Eddie, a mechanical engineer who has gone berserk by accidentally mixing drugs and attacks the Caped Crusader with structural steel buildings. Batman, like the Phoenix, has arisen from the ashes.