LAWYERS

9/02/2017

At one time, this analytical trade or craft was well respected amongst society for achieving fair results, without resorting to violence. The first semblance of civility amongst a congregation of human beings was a code of conduct or basic laws that was striving for some sort of integrity. In the beginning and over thousands of years, laws were enacted and written down, to act as a precedence for future decisions as to the severity of one’s misdeeds. The lawyers were present to remind the judge of previous rulings that may be similar to his client’s case, but with a more lax decision than what the law prescribes. Later, businesses required laws for their protection, which hinged entirely on the wording of the native language and created a whole new approach on interpretation. This legal language became ‘legalese’ and started the respectability of the career to slowly slide. They stood in the background, ready to argue any preposition, contraction, or adverb that showed up in the contract. A few scoundrels made off with millions over an uncrossed T or an undotted I. Sending these language lawyers further down the shit slide was the newly invented automobile and contracts with insurance companies. These ‘rehabilitation rats’ were there for the misfortunates who were involved in accidents caused by human error. Making as much as, and if not more than, the victim, they flooded the atmosphere with their ads promoting their ability to ‘catch’ an ambulance. “One call and we’ll stop your fall”. Annoying. The current trend to increase animosity amongst these overpaid suits that do most of their work in a country club, and leave the bulk of minutiae to the paralegals, is class action lawsuits. Small engineering or advertising errors will net a product purchaser $12 for misinforming the public that it only has 17HP instead of the advertised18HP. The legal firm walks away with tens of millions of dollars for a thousand hours of research. That sounds objectionably fair. 

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