DIETS

2/4/2018

Obese, fat, corpulent, and tubby. Stout, portly, flabby, and chubby. Hefty, large, meaty, and pudgy. Chunky, plump, punchy, and fudgy. These are just a few English words to describe today’s 600 plus million adults and 107 million children in today’s 7.5 billion humans who are obese. Roughly 1/3 of the population is overweight and the US ranks #18. The least obese on the list of 195 world countries is Ethiopia, where deserts abound, and food doesn’t grow. This svelte nation has a potential gold mine as a diet destination for travelers looking to lose weight. Unless a glandular problem exists, the only reason for fat fockers is an input/output mathematical formula. Take in more calories than you burn up and you will start putting on weight. Landing in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia with over 100 million people in its borders and an extremely arid tropical climate with minimal rainfall, food is at a premium. With the native population eyeing you up as dinner, your ever-vigilant nature is to stay alive by not wanting to start any confrontations with the ‘skinnies.’ With a constant walk away format, you should lose 10 pounds in the first week. Throw in some diarrhea because of its 3rd world status and you’ll drop another 10. Within a month you should be back to your ‘fightin’ weight’. This diet destination will deliver customers on cruise ships with no food or alcohol aboard, only water and limes to prevent scurvy. Another more popular diet that will appeal to the masses will be the cancer diet. Extract an active case of cancer from a patient and attach it to the customer’s body on the surface of the skin. By implanting blood vessels to bring nutrients to the cancer, it will rob the body of its energy and direct food to the tumor. A filter installed in the return vein circuit will prevent the cancer from metastasizing back into the body. When the ideal weight is reached, the tumor mass is severed and discarded into the closest pig pen for recycling back into scrumptious bacon.

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