Sitting in the Captain’s chair at the controls of the NAP, the Air Force officer looks out over the controls in the Bridge. With a multitude of screens in front of him, and a mountain on top of him, Colonel Gregg Ward surveys cameras of the entrance, the equipment rooms, and an overall view of Colorado Springs down below. He adjusts some dials, squints at their readouts, and sips his coffee. He has the distinction of piloting the largest vessel in the world, the entire North American Plate, but that is classified. His engines consist of an entire country’s worth of wind turbines that rotate directions and spool up when power is applied. For nearly 40 years, these individual units were brought on line, a little at a time so as not to arouse suspicion. All the previous Captains whose names are represented by blue plates, with numbers from 1 to 8, are on a plaque behind him. Col. Ward recalls the story of BLUE PLATE #6, who just had a record number of wind turbines come on line in the spring of 2011, and was testing their thrust vectors without adjusting the original standing array. The resultant torque rotation at the very west end of the NAP got hung up on the Philippine Plate and caused a great deal of stress off the coast of Japan. On the 11th of March it broke free, caused huge devastation and killed 15,894. The General in charge of the investigation, whose father was killed at Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7, 1941, was heard to say, “we’ll call it even.” Col. Ward, alias BLUE PLATE # 9, came on board in Feb. 2017 and answers only to the commander-in- chief. He has been given a new order stipulating that the NAP shall be moved even more south than it already is. It will pull away from the Eurasian plate in the Arctic where no human sees the fissures created 13,000 feet under the ocean. Gregg takes the entire array of wind turbines, redirects their orientation, slowly applies power, then guns it. Mexico will now get a new mountain range right on the US border. 

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