HOARDERS

9/22/2020

Upon entering the breezeway of the Trailer of Trash, Bob Krapland was instantly awoken to just how much unrelated shit can show up in 1 spot. Piled to the heavens was the discarded remnants that hell had no use for, and stuffed it into that 72′ long aluminum garbage scow called a Mobile Home. Stationary Shithouse is more accurate, as Bob fought his way through the staging area, up the steps and into the Castle of Clutter. Bob glanced around and found foothills of food on the table that could feed a 3rd world country for weeks on end. Making his way over towards the kitchen sink that was buried in a mountain of dirty dishes, Bob was directed towards an inoperable light. This is why Mr. Krapland was here: to find out why half the trailer was without power. Trying to find the switch that activated that light, he employed the residents of the horizontal trash compactor (mobile home) to clear the sink of debris. 20 minutes later, the kitchen faucet showed up and 2′ away lay the abandoned switch of yesteryear. Flipping the switch produced the expected results: nothing, and it was downstream the trio went to find the fault. Pointing to the next suspected area, the 2 furniture movers were kept busy yanking out chairs, tables, boxes and a 1964 Corvair out of the way so Bob could deduce what happened. Electrician Bob, after opening and repairing the sins of unskilled crapsmen prior to him had crapted, he figured this was the result of an overload that had opened up a hidden connection somewhere in the trailer. A bypass was mandatory.  As the 2 culprits responsible for the monster mess were sent under the trailer to route the new cable, Bob went in the closet where the panel was located and prepared to retrieve the wire. Looking to gain some more room at the floor, he pulled out a fruit jar at the bottom of a pile of junk that was stacked there since the Carter Administration. A tremendous avalanche ensued. Bob Krapland’s funeral was on a rainy, Thursday afternoon. 

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