SNOW WHITE

4/2/2018 

Researched and first printed in 1812 by the Brothers Grimm, this German folklore appeared as Tale 53 in their collection, Grimm’s’ Fairy Tales, and their final revision was completed in 1854. The children of 1937 and beyond were introduced to an animated film produced by Dizzy Productions that changed the title to SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS, and gave the dwarfs names so as to generate a toy line and huge royalties that would keep old Walt cryogenically frozen until his cure is found. LEGGO OF MY EGO. The film was toned down quite a bit from the tale so as to make it more “palatable” to the modern minor. The real version centers around a blonde, blue-eyed, Aryan-raced, cocaine abuser called Snow White, who had major issues with the seven deadly sins: Pride, Envy, Wrath, Gluttony, Lust, Sloth and Greed. Snow White would score some good coke and drag her “magic” mirror out of the closet to do some lines. She called it “magic” because whenever she set out a line, the mirror reflected a second line underneath it, thus doubling the volume. In school, Snow White failed physics and Fermat’s Principles of Refractions miserably. Her mother, the queen (a stepmother in the movie, so the kiddies didn’t develop a matricide tendency), wants to kill her daughter (filicide) because she’s a 10 and mom’s only an 8. So, mom hires a killer who fails. Mom puts on a disguise and poisons her daughter, but medical science (Narcan) intervenes and Snow White survives. Finally, mom puts on her hag drag and offers a poison apple to her daughter. This puts Snow White in a trance, and the Seven Deadly Sins have their way with her. That crap about Prince Charming coming along and rescuing Snow White is a Walt Whitewash. Snow White is incarcerated and dies horribly in prison due to long term drug abuse and many debilitating sexually transmitted diseases. Good night, sweet little children, and don’t let the bedbugs rip the crap out of your genatalia or sell you highly addictive drugs. 

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