AMERICASH

5/24/2018

As dawn fractured the night sky with shards of scarlet radiance, Jim Smiff pulled himself out of his sleeping bag like a snake shedding its skin. Tucked inside his motor home in a campsite overlooking Yellowstone Lake, Jim was positioning himself to view the sunrise coming up over Avalanche Peak, standing sentinel amongst the Absoroka Range. As the first piercing sun rays burned into Jim’s eyes, its photons drove deep into his brain and the number 56 spilled into his thoughts. Jim had now witnessed sunrises in 56 national parks with just 4 more to go before his retirement from the life he has chosen. Jim Smiff is a counterfeiter. Jim’s view is that all the parks are a gift from the North American continent and, therefore, should be totally free. Born into pure poverty, this gentle man had worked for years in the printing industry and with his meager pay, minus his income taxes, he managed to eke out a living. Unable to properly support a family and knowing that dysfunctionality breeds dysfunctionality, Jim remained a bachelor. Being in the printing industry, Jim was astonished when he saw pictures of the pristine Hetch Hetchy area prior to the city of San Francisco damming up the valley and taking its waters. He also paid attention to the fine printing details of US currency. Lacking greed but laced with larceny, Jim perfected a process of counterfeiting 5’s and 10’s and set off on adventure of a lifetime to see the wonders of America. Stopping for gas often, buying resellable goods and not creating any type of patterns to alert the Secret Service, Jim has wandered the country for decades on Uncle Sam’s dime. When he completes his mission soon, he plans on turning himself in. This felon will spend the rest of his dwindling life within a US prison, enjoying free room, board, and medical services. Imprisoned within a decaying body, Jim will live through his memories of all the magnificent scenery he has witnessed and will die a free man. 

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