Parked on the street or in a Project’s parking lot, the BEATER sits quietly amongst others, similar to a detainee in a criminal processing facility. Dripping oil and antifreeze like a geriatric soiling their diaper in a nursing home, the car waits for its owner to overcome his drug laden hangover and run an errand to the Korean owned mini mart. At long last, here comes the stumbling moron on his daily quest to accomplish the highlight of the day; get a pack of fags and 4 quarts of malt liquor. A bumbling journey around the BEATER is required to inspect for missing license plates, broken lights, and crushed car panels. All is accounted for, SIR! So, the next order of business is to unlock the prized possession and smell what aroma is about to offend the olfactory organs. Wooo, it’s a combination of pot and vomit that was comically coined POMIT, a familiar scent that sums up the accomplishments of last night. Pushing back the Taco Bell wrappers and wiping off the hot sauce on the seat so as not to inflame the genitals, it’s time to fire up the chariot of noxious stench and be gone. A cloud of smoke similar to Mt. Vesuvius erupting is a good sign; there is still some oil and gas left in that powerplant that just turned 247,042 miles, the vast majority in a chemical haze. It was picked up 5 years ago from Chin’s Auto Ranch: a Chinese used car lot next to the landfill where it acquired those permanent white spots on the roof, compliments of well-fed seagulls. Back then, the 10-year-old car only had 114,003 miles on it and just a little stink. The landfill got the ball rolling. The additional mileage was from road trips to Colorado as a business venture that moved high demand packages of recreational drugs back home to satisfy the cash clients. The current owner of the BEATER knows he stands on a slippery slope and it’s just a matter of time before some State Trooper impounds the cash camel and retires it to the crusher.
To be continued……..