Marketed as an enhancement of one’s personality, automobiles come in all colors and adornments to reach all those individuals who need to express their importance to others. Sports cars are for pretty people who are in a hurry to have sex with other pretty people. Muscle cars are enhancements for those lacking physical attributes. SUV’s are for family oriented people who wish to show off their children or borrowed kids from other families, if their own are substandard. You won’t know. Pickup trucks used to be for farmers and construction people who used them for work, but after the movie, URBAN COWBOY, the truck has morphed into a sex symbol and a high profit item. The reason your kitchen remodeling project costs $84,000 is because there is a quarter of a million dollars of trucks parked outside your house. The sedans are average cars for average people, enough said. Luxury cars are for pompous people who want to rub it in your face that they are successful, or at least pretend to be. Hybrids and electric cars are for tree huggers and flower humpers. They want you to know they are concerned about the environment by driving a ton of toxic and explosive batteries around until they go dead. They then pull over to an electrical outlet, plug in a cord, and not pay any attention to the coal fired power plant recharging it. Economy cars are specifically built for shepherds, also known as sheep f**ckers. Then, last, but definitely the most numerous, is the collection of all the castoff crap that was once adorned, but now abandoned by former owners. They are known as used cars. These are now where the original purpose of the automobile was founded, a form of transportation designed to get your ass from 1 location to another without any pride or vanity getting in the way. Color or options are of little concern. “Does it run?” is the question that is most important. You have just entered the universe of the vast majority of cars. The illustrious BEATER vehicle.

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