V.R.

4/23/2019

Hollywood’s behavioral tentacles have crept into all the hidden corners of America and is now creating highly profitable businesses for those with the skills and gumption to go after this vain sector. Somehow, during our civilized development, someone saw fit to do reconstructive surgery of the outer portion of the entrance to the woman’s reproductive organ. Whether because of severe burns or a sporting disaster, such as a bike’s seat falling off exposing a sharp shaft that tore the protective sheath covering the love tunnel, is unknown. The resulting surgery to repair and restore the inner and outer labia is now known as Vaginal Reconstruction (VR). The norm for today’s Western culture is to be more aware of a woman’s sex drive and the enhancement of their faces and bodies to be more desirable for their partners (either sex). Past history only paid attention to the territory above the belt, but now times have changed. The introduction of jewelry installations on the cave curtains has torn down the taboos once associated with this terrain. Instead of accepting the fact that gravity and childbirth will cause wear and tear on the doors to the kiddie kitchen, plastic surgeons are standing in line to remove flabby tissue and large sums of money. Previously designed by nature to control the humidity, ph level, and prevent insects from flying into the fool foundry when going commando, the inner and outer labia were well suited for their career in guarding the gates to the gonads (ovaries). As time and gravity exert their relentless tug on mammal organs, the floppy folds of femininity fair no better than others. In time, they look like a tongue hanging out of a dead animal’s mouth and produce embarrassing farting noises as trapped air released from a plunging penis vibrates the lackluster lips. Thankful we now have a gaggle of greedy vulva vultures ready to nip and tuck those pesky pussy petals and tighten them like the skin on a brand-new snare drum. 

One comment

  1. It thrills me to know the medical profession keeps offering more and more options. I have always wondered what the skin on a brand new snare drum feels like.

    Liked by 1 person

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