INFINITE UNIVERSE II

7/4/2019

Ingrained in human being’s beliefs for hundreds of centuries, was the notion that our planet Earth was at the center of the universe, and all other celestial bodies paid homage by rotating around us. In the early 16th century, Nicolaus Copernicus postulated the idea of the sun being at the center of our universe and all objects revolve around it. This upset the clerics so much that later they found another scientist, Galileo Galilea, guilty of heresy. The Religious Union then sentenced him to life imprisonment for his telescopic observations that the heliocentric theory was indeed correct. Finally, the whole solar system was redesigned by an entertainment company that tricks the minds of the creatures that exist here. At the center is the furnace that runs on coal. Those sunspots, that show up on our filtered photos of our bright boiler in the sky, distinctively show unburnt coal from time to time. Solar flares are nothing more than oxygen flashovers when the Oompa Loompas open the fire door to feed it more coal. And lastly, partial solar eclipses are the required Union-bargained lunch breaks for the Oompa Loompas, as the little people go off to eat their baby back ribs and mini marshmallows at the lunchrooms. The moon is slid over to partially hide the non-glowing parts of the furnace as it slowly cools during their lunch break. After the meal, the crew goes back to stoking the fire and the moon is pulled back again to reveal the entire spherical firebox. During a rare, total eclipse mandated by boiler codes, the whole system is shut down.  The “sun” then goes dark and hides the thousands of workers who are inspecting the heat source for fatigue and leaking seams.  After a short time, the “outage” is satisfied and the chief administrator gives his approval, if all is kosher. The hot box is refired and everybody back on earth breathes a sigh of relief. In past planet history, there have been 5 mass extinctions as the sun failed to pass muster. 

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