ELEPHANTS

10/21/2020

An archaic term for a large, thick-skinned mammal is Pachyderm. Included in this obsolete order are rhinoceros, hippopotamus, elephants, and sea Pachyderms, or whales, for short. Today, the term describes the family of elephants only, which is a unique branch of mammals that have tails on both ends, so to speak. These large, lumbering, herbivores come in 2 main flavors, African and Asian, to denote which land mass they are found on. The African (savannah or bush) Elephant can get up to 12 tons in size and resists being domesticated by sitting or trampling on some foolish human who thinks he can try. The smaller Asian (forest) Elephant has been successfully domesticated by men thousands of years ago as a beast of burden and were also trained as war elephants (the very first tank) by Persians against Alexander the Greek (Great is a term used for people who live long, productive lives and do not die of malaria at age 32). Millions of years ago, many different species of elephants have inhabited the large landmass of Gondwana, which included the Americas. As these cratons moved around and smashed into each other, the Mammoths of Laurasia came into existence in North America and Siberia. Thankfully some hungry, savage society saw fit to send these hairy Pachyderms off to the continent of Valhalla, which means that they no longer exist. Otherwise, the men of the northern latitudes would have to have mammoth barns to house the creatures that their wives adapted emotionally. American men are forced to spend billions of dollars on useless horses to keep mamma happy, as she rides her steed 2 hours and feeds it 22 hours a day. Whenever you see a horse farm with these stupid, imported animals standing around, consuming cash that could have been used to educate people, thank a cave man for spearing the last mammoth to death. Imagine the attraction of a beast with a huge phallic symbol on both ends of the animal. Women would go absolutely nuts for them. 

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