ADOPTIONS II

1/26/2021

With bidding wars for human children taking place daily, the tactic is to get as much money as possible for these little bundles of joy. Starting out on Monday, the minimum bid for some child who had the misfortune to be born as a mixed-race baby, in an economically depressed area, is $500. With time and experience, bidders learn that the real bidding takes place in the final minutes of the time expiration. That $500 baby may go for $501 or $14,760 depending on the emotional enthusiasm someone will have for that kid. Other factors are the backlog of babies that will go up for adoption, the genetic makeup, and the time of year. At Christmas, prices soar because of supply and demand and that the adoption date is usually celebrated by the families. It is more economically savvy to celebrate 2 holidays in 1 to cut down on unnecessary gifting. This baby rush starts right after Thanksgiving and brings new meaning to the phrase: Black Friday. An increase in pregnancies in February and March by low-income mothers was noticed so as to get the newborns on the market just in time for Santa. Both President’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day saw a large absence of male employees at their places of employment during the time interval between those holidays. As for delivery of these “bid babies”, a company called STORK came onto the scene right after EEboy and EEgirl came online. Driving around in electric vans sporting professional drivers and certified midwives, this outfit will hand deliver your crying package to your home or place of employment depending on your selection. These blue or pink vans also carry with them armed security people to ensure your order arrives safely. Kidnapping is a thing of the past as some earthen scum tried to muscle in on this lucrative market. Hearing protection is afforded these newborns just in case there is a shootout on the freeways. The bassinests transporting the little love joys are guaranteed to be bullet proof up to .45 caliber. 

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