SPEED SKATING DANCERS

1/30/2021

A pair of 60-year-old plus carpenters named Mike and Dan showed up at a condominium to satisfy the whims of the new resident. The 2 had spent their entire adult lives in the trades and have avoided death by falls, with an incident or 2 of a close call. That is the nature of the business. When working in construction, you will spend a great amount of time on ladders, scaffolding, and at the edge of buildings looking down at death if there is 1 mistake in coordinated body movement. Even if you never approach the perimeter of the structure during its construction, you are still at risk of being struck by objects from above because all day long there is a crane overhead that spends its entire shift lifting and swinging building materials in 3 dimensions. Also in that building are shotgun barrels that are poised to discharge death at any unsuspecting moment. This term is given to elevator shafts that are in the construction phase and go farther down than a fall off the side because they originate in the deep basements. There are railings in every potential fall situation, but it is the carpenters who install these barriers where there are none. After 4 decades of falling down on tripping hazards such as nailed down blocks, concrete projections, and small cylindrical shafts of pipe on the floor that will accelerate one leg into a diving motion, construction personnel get pretty good at regaining their balance in a forward fall. As Mike and Dan negotiate this new landscape of toe stubbers, Mike is the first to hit a transition strip and off he goes into the Speed Skater Dance. With the torso parallel to the ground and the legs underneath accelerating to try and get the center of gravity back inside the body, there goes Mike, just like an Olympic Speed Skater. Next Dan stumbles on a carpet strip and off he goes in the opposite direction. With an array of obstacles, these 2 old clowns will perform the Synchronized Speed Skating Dance all day long. 

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