PROPHETS

5/1/2021 

Every few centuries an enlightened man is given a vision that causes him to create his own religion. Regardless of their professions, their cultures, or their age, the common denominator of all prophets is their introduction to prophetdom by a baptism in a divine light. Whether it was a burning bush or a heavenly light cascading from the sky, this was the moment of revelation and the creation of a new belief. Nole K-sum is the neoprophet who was accidentally struck by lightning and saw his calling for being the leader of the ALSET Congregation. The quick, hot blast of electrical energy instantly rearranged his neural connections and gave him insights into the future by means of an intense plasma discharge. His visions included: transporting the human body through spaces at the highest speed possible, Rocketships through the atmosphere, electric cars on the surface, and Tunnel Boring Machines through the earth. This is the basis of the ALSET religion: moving your ass through different mediums better than anyone else. Coming down the pike will be a submarine for the common man. This underwater boat propelled by compressed nitrogen that was extracted from the atmosphere, and stored in cylinders, will be a clean energy mode of transportation. It will be a godsent to coastal, lake, and major river dwellers as they’ll be able to avoid the traffic jams created by their cars that have to follow the coastlines. Untethered by roads, this 3D style transportation will mimic flying without the fear of falling into the earth at life terminating speeds. With the earth’s surface being covered by 70% of this material, this is absolutely brilliant. This revelation reflects the divine power that this prophet can conjure and will quickly gain many followers to this this new cult that no longer requires deities to pay homage to. Merely make your check payable to the NOLE K-SUM Corporation and your acceptance into the expanding capitalist’s doctrine will be Confirmed by Email.

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