WAITRESS WOES III

5/12/2021  

Too youthful yo-yos with an agenda of trouble tattooed on their gray matter were on the prowl. It was road trip time, and the highway beckoned them like a siren towards the rocks in their own personal Odyssey. They were armed with a case of beer and a wallet full of cash, just in case they had to bail themselves out. Leaving the city, which held their future as beasts of burden, the 2 embarked in a direction called: UP NORTH and left behind their past and many empty beer cans. Two hours later, they came upon an untapped watering hole, and it was time to commingle with “new meat.” Upon entering the bar, every patron simultaneously turned to look at the intruders, stared for 3 seconds, and then turned away. Finding 2 empty seats, the drinking duo ordered one more beer each to slosh around with the other six floating in their bellies. The middle-aged waitress/bartender had folds of fat flowing off her neck all the way past her ass and towards these 2 smiling jerks that were now in her terrain. As they drank their elixirs of courage, the 2 sized up all the information on the walls. Both were drawn to a 2′ x 3′ picture that showed an incredibly beautiful woman in a bikini on a California beach. Her hair was long blond, her 36-24-36 physique was perfect, and her smile was infectious. In this pose she could coax a boner out of the Pope in 6 seconds flat. Totally infatuated with that chick on the beach, the 2 summoned the waitress over and asked who the girl in the picture was. When she said that was her in her younger years, the tall one who just tipped up a beer unloaded a mouthful of high-velocity beer into the atmosphere and busted out laughing. The other one broke into hysteria and the patrons watched the waitress unleash her fury upon these 2. “OUT! OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT!” she screamed. They laughed so hard they could barely move their bodies out the door and they drove into the night, spewing insane laughter as they repeated her words, “THAT WAS MEEEE!” 

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