AIRLINE SMACKDOWN II

7/3/2021

The Airline Gods finally started smiling on those winged transportation industries. For the last 18 months, these companies were hemorrhaging cash like a hemophiliac blasted with birdshot. With the flights scaled way back and passenger manifests lightly listed, the carriers needed infused money just to keep the jetways from rusting. Mr. Mike Smotz, who was lucky enough to be on a flight that had enough people on it to duke it out, had an epiphany. He realized that most humans that are corralled and facially gagged (masked) will excite easily. This leads to a heightened state of fidgetiness and any negative stimuli will send the animals into a rage. Plagued by fights on board that forced planes to divert and caused huge delays at the gate, airlines were at a loss to rectify this exercise in violence. Mr. Smotz to the rescue. Mike had spent his early adult life in Professional Wrestling and knew the trade well. It attracted a small but devout following, but if it had a captive audience, who knows where it would go? The sky might be the limit. Mr. Smotz approached the Airline Executives and laid out a plan to have unannounced and incognito wrestling professionals on board random flights to entertain the crowds and to double as Sky Marshals, if needed. The Airlines were interested and gave Mike a 2-month trial run to see if it would work. At first it threw off the passengers so well, 911 calls filled the airwaves. But the passengers adapted quickly. There was anticipation in flying now because you might be lucky enough to personally witness a full blown smackdown wrestling match on your flight. As Dr. Z came running out of the cockpit, Man Monster appeared out of the rear galley, and all hell broke loose in the aisle by row 23. People love to see people beat each other up, and by utilizing professional wrestlers, this completely defused angry passenger behavior. Now the planes are full of happy customers that want to see live fights every flight. 

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