IT DOESN’T ANTI-MATTER II

9/18/2021

Every year in December, the winners for the Nobel Prizes are announced. There are 6 categories for which the prizes are awarded, including: chemistry, economics, literature, peace, physics, and physiology (medical). The cash awards issued are a healthy $1,145,000 US and would pay for a lifetime supply of toilet paper for a family of 50 with very bad digestive problems. These accolades are rare but are open to all the citizens of planet Earth. Former winners include Albert Einstein, Barack Obama, and Malala Yousafzai, a 17-year-old girl from Pakistan who kept a diary of her perils growing up in an education-deprived, Muslim country. This shows that anyone can win. A sure fired way to win this big, fat, piggy bank in Physics would be to prove why in this universe there is a vast majority of matter, with anti-matter only being equally created in the core of stars and in supercollider experiments. The proof you need to establish is: where did all the anti-matter go? Now, with some clever mathematics and a talent for oozing out bullshit without cracking up, you can postulate that antimatter has a “white hole charge” and is, nearly instantly, sucked into the closest black hole. With a vague premise of why this phenomenon takes place, merely dream up a lot of mathematics where you have imaginary numbers in the denominator and a couple of fabricated constants. It’s now up to the reviewing committee to disprove you. Tell them that you as a qualified Astrophysicist, bored a hole into the core of the sun, and extracted anti-matter particles and put them in a Dewar thermos bottle to keep them from touching any form of matter that would cause an instant annihilation. If they question how you bored the hole without burning up, tell them you did it at night. Then show them an animation of anti-matter particles coming out of the thermos and getting pulled into the black hole where they get transported to an anti-matter universe.  Easy-Peezy, pay me pleasey. 

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