CASH

10/26/2021

The invention of the ages (over 3,000 years ago) was a transportable concoction that represented value for goods and services. Showing up, at first, as coins and then later, notes, these monetary instruments had value as long as the issuing institution (be it country or bank) was solvent. Later, the money was backed by an equivalent amount of a rare commodity, such as gold or silver, but recently that idea has exited the vault of common sense like a fart in a geriatric ward. In the United States, only 8% of day-to-day transactions are cash and someone is out to put a halt to that. Cash creates an underground economy, and the tax boys don’t particularly agree to that. Some conspiracy theorists argue that the Covid Pandemic was launched to remove cash from the worlds’ spreadsheets because viruses can linger on the coins or currency themselves. Therefore, they are being outlawed. WOW! Who knew that spenders are a pandemic’s greatest ally? Many a venue will not accept cash. This trains the masses that this monetary instrument is of no value except to collectors. Cash is king, and the king is dead. Long live the credit. With cash being suffocated out of existence, next on the list will be the people who barter. The Law will be changed to make people who barter simple labor trades: felons. The introduction of Barter Narcs will supply employment to people who could never make it in the real world. They will be given uniforms and armed to the teeth with weaponry. The Barter Narcs will investigate people who have been snitched on for practicing this horrible ritual, and if cash is discovered, lethal force is authorized. All cash will be confiscated and destroyed, and all coins will be melted down to create medals and apparel adornments such as buttons for Barter Narcs uniforms. The upside to this will be that hit men will be unemployed. If you want your spouse killed, you will have a hard time finding individuals to take personal, traceable checks for their services. RATS!