DOG WALKERS

2/10/2022     

A new occupation, Dog Walking (DW), has slowly crept into our civilized society that needs enhancements due to its mundane skill set. A hundred years ago, this trade would have been delegated to the butler or gardener of a few wealthy individuals that had a love for the canine crowd. However, after the 1970’s, enjoying fruitful stock market investments, some prosperity became readily available to working class citizens. People had more disposable income and began to hire low motivation individuals who shared an interest in fitness and pooches, thus creating the DW industry. New York City was a leader in this field and was rumored to have invented the inverted sandwich bag trick to dispose of doggy doo-doo. Sticking the hand inside the baggy, grabbing the steaming stool, and then turning the bag inside out, left the Alpo Apple safely stored in the protective bag. Dog urine is still utilized as a chemical that tests the robustness of a fire hydrant paint and is approved as a natural plant and tree watering liquid; so, no attempt has been made to reign in these behaviors. The new trend introduced to the DW market are doggy saloons. These new installations put dogs in caged runs with other genetically modified mutts and let them sniff and snort new groinal odors amongst their own kind. Meanwhile, the DWs are served alcohol to relieve the stress created by the harsh demands of this career. In reality, it is nothing more than a pick up bar that uses dogs and their unrestrained scandalous behaviors in public to get humans to go through their breeding process at a motel later on. These hard-working denizens need love too as everything now revolves around the bowel movements of the dog and the pedometer readouts of the DW. Dog owners demand a minimum of 2,000 steps to buff up their prissy Poodles. These Terrier taverns are now the hot spots for the libido driven DWs and are used to instill another generation of muscle toners and stool scoopers for the near future. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s