The U.S. is an array of 48 conterminous states and 2 strays that are off in the far western corners. Their borders were determined by government decrees and, at times, faulty surveys. Lawsuits occasionally hit the Courts of Stagnation run by purveyors of complex communications. They muddle through forests of documentation to ascertain the official descriptions while occasionally masturbating under their black robes to soothe their bored(u)m. The lines were meticulously drawn and are recorded in plats that no one pays any mind to, except border residents. They just need to know where to send their mandated protection money (taxes) to. Of the 50 states, only Hawaii has no straight lines in its demarcation and the majority of these states are out West, due to their size and absence of large rivers. River borders are predominantly prevalent but are often disputed because of the meandering properties of flowing water on a sphere. Their paths change often but the borders established during statehood’s admission becomes the binding answer. It was these dendritic boundaries that created commerce and, hence, wealth. These rural water conveyors are left to their own destinies and become the destinations of solitude seekers and explorers. And so, this story begins. The river of discussion is the Wisconsin River of nearly 430 miles in length, dropping 1,000 feet in elevation with multiple hydro and regulating dams that end at Prairie du Sac. Downstream of that location is 92.3 miles of a National Scenic River byway. This is the starting point of old William Turst and his attempt to float a boat the entire length to the river’s terminus at the Mississippi. First on the agenda was to rent a boat for the trip. The vessel selected was a flat-bottom duck skiff that a friend possessed, and a deal was struck. Next was choosing a pilot/sailor to aide old Bill who was in his entropy years, losing mobility. With all the logistics determined, it was now a go. 

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