The bacterial boys were the very first tenants on Planet Earth and are estimated to be 3.5 billion years old. They have evolved our own DNA strands over time by creating multi-celled simple life forms and, later, complex organisms with specialized organs for energy procurement and reproduction. It was they who pioneered the proteins and enzymes that made multi-cell life attainable by constantly changing the parameters with trial-and-error tactics. Over time, the little buggers perfected millions of species, all for the enhancement of their dietary world. Adjustments were constantly being tweaked for flavor and variety for their offspring, and new models were concocted whenever a big rock smashed into the planet or their arch enemies, the viruses wiped out a genus just out of spite. The bacteria merely produced a new lifeform to exist inside of. They infested whatever they created without killing the host, otherwise they had to move out. Making them sick was OK because the fever heat made it much more comfortable. Over time, the bacteria boys started toying around with Artificial Intelligence. A few million years ago, they experimented with a terrestrial mammal, known as a chimp, and added more grey jello into the cranium. It slowly mutated into a human form and produced creatures with independent thoughts. This was perfect for the microbe world as the bipeds started moving around and transported their inventors amongst the world and beyond. These new models had opposing thumbs and could grasp their form of compensation, known as money. These digits also doubled as forklifts for loading the bacterium into their human warehouse doors. The mammalian marauders have become the transporters and feedstock of their tiny gods that created them. At times they are full of their wisdumb and walk around as pompous snobs on a planet they think they own. SURPRISE! The little bugs are in command as the dying human evaporates into germ pudding with a Twinkie texture. 

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