The Pudge Planet II

12/30/2019

The 1960’s brought about the intense space race for 2 reasons. 1) For the development of advanced rocket technology and telemetry in order to accurately drop our new nuclear weapons onto a potential enemy. 2) To push back the moon to its original orbit before our increasingly more massive earth started pulling it too far in. With the advancements in farming, baby boomers and fast food restaurants, life was expanding exponentially. This increased mass slowly pulled the moon closer to the earth and started to upset the tide tables. With a huge shipping industry bringing in tons of junk from Japan and heading for Kmart shelves, stable tides insured economic stability. Scientists noticed that the earth was getting heavier and was not only pulling in the moon, it was also getting closer to the sun and slowly heating up. The increased heat was acceptable at the time because it launched a huge industry known as Air Conditioning. This was good, but the tide thing had to be nipped in the bud. So, plans were made to send man-controlled rockets to the moon to precisely push it back. The 6 landings introduced a double shove on our neighbor, once on contact and once on takeoff. When pushed back to the proper position, moon landings were terminated. They returned with 842 pounds of moon rocks to balance everything out. Since then, only the earth gets closer to the sun and humans compensate by generating more electricity to run more AC. In time nearly all life will be burned off and the lighter planet will be flung off into a colder orbit where a few remaining life forms take hold and repeat the life cycle again. Only the earth displays this cyclic performance as all the other planets lack life and have stable orbits. Humans, one of the cancerous creatures infesting the earth think they can control this process. Their plans in the near future are to blow off nuclear weapons on the sunny side of the earth and push it back to a more pleasant orbit. GENIUS!

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