TOILET BOWL PEOPLE

9/7/2019

Buried ocean deep in the Brazilian jungle where the eastern slope of the impenetrable Andes sits atop of the Urubamba River watershed, lives a tribe of aboriginal people known as the Toilet Bowl People or TBP’s for short. Their discovery was simply fate as a cargo plane was enroute from Sao Paulo, Brazil to Cusco, Peru carrying high end, luxury commodities bound for the US embassy being constructed there. Among the many items aboard were 20 Majestic Kohler toilets with listening microphones embedded into the bowls, ordered by the CIA. Their installation into the porcelain thrones guaranteed any private conversations taking place in the bathrooms would be recorded. With their loss in the jungle, a group of 7 commandos, disguised as a Catastrophy Team for a major insurance company set out to find and destroy the cargo. The plane was caught in a storm and the 2 pilots radioed their exact location just before they disappeared. Not wanting this stealth technology falling into the wrong wipers, the CIA set out to make this right. The plane had crashed into the canopy and the pilots were killed by a multitude of tree branches penetrating the cockpit. The wreckage was instantly discovered by the TBP’S who climbed through the damaged, but intact plane’s hull, found the toilets within and hauled them back to their village. They were amazed that such a white, glistening gift could fall out of the sky and took it as a sign that these were the chairs of the gods. Placed in the center of the village in a circle, the residents revered their gift and displayed them proudly. When the CIA team showed up to get rid of the evidence, one Texan in the group decided to show the villagers the real purpose of the “thrones”. When he dropped his drawers and deposited a stool in the bowl, the tribes people went berserk and macheted the intruders into oblivion. The news of their demise made it back to Washington and the CIA knew their secret was safe. Case closed. 

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