The chipmunks of the northern hemisphere have endured numerous assaults on their species and on their character, by hateful humans who despise them, for their quirky habit of stealing homo sapiens eyeballs and getting ‘wasted ‘ on the fermented Iiquid inside. The loss of one’s eyes very rarely leads to illness or death and an indented, sagging eyelid is the only side real effect. The other 4 senses become so enhanced and will quickly compensate for the slight inconvenience of being totally blind. Man’s disdain for chipmunks is reflected in the way that they treat their own criminals. The older horizontal stripped uniforms of inmates mimic the stripes of the chipmunk’s coat as if to convey that this malefactor cannot or should not be trusted. A subsequent lawsuit filed by the A.C.L.U. forced the abolition of the stigmatized prison uniforms but could not block the selection of the blatant chipmunk orange jumpsuit as a substitute. It is of little wonder that the most persecuted of all the rodents, the Siberian chipmunks, have mathematically calculated their own survival in their native habitat. Knowing that a triad of nuclear weapons are aimed at their homes, they have decided to embark on a voyage to the Southern Hemisphere, where humans and their weapons of mass destruction are at a minimum. Departing on a secret odyssey in their 3 vessels, the ALVIN, the SIMON, and the THEODORE, they have set sail for Antarctica. Charles Darwin’s ORIGIN OF THE SPECIES predicts that in time, they will sport white striped fur, grow larger, become full blown carnivores and feed on penguins and their eyeballs. Fear not! After all the human scientists stationed there have been blinded by the scouting chipmunk parties who prefer the fresh live eyes, will swiftly learn Braille and be able to record the transformation of the coldest continent into a balanced natural state over time. Remember, only humans know the secret formula for total extinction. 

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